emotional control is for pussies
Things that have made me cry over the past few days:
1. My brother called me, and we got into a fight, because he thinks I should circumcise the baby, and we don't plan to. He got pretty nasty about it, and I told him that it basically wasn't any of his business, and he had two kids already that he got to make all his own choices for. I pointed out that I never stepped in and told him how he should parent his children, and I would like the same kind of respect from him because I deserve that. He replied that of course I never 'stepped in' for him, because he never planned to something life ruining to his children the way I am planning to ruin our baby's life by not circumcising him. Obviously we have a difference of opinion, and he's never even looked into the not circumcising-debate, he just thinks he's right for no reason, and he should just get to say what he thinks. Personally, I think, that he's just upset because if I don't do everything the way he did it, then that might cause him to question the things he did, and therefore could potentially show that maybe he didn't do everything perfect, and there is another way to do things. Maybe.
2. My mom. She's overwhelmed, and she's busy, and she's sad. And that makes me cry.
3. My brother supports Notre Dame. I cried about this a little while we were watching Michigan annihilate Notre Dame on Saturday.
4. Some teacher on the news, was having a really hard time reaching her middle school students. She really idolized her first grade teacher, and at the end of the program, they brought her first grade teacher out to see her. At first, the younger teacher didn't recognize her first grade teacher, but when she did, she was so happy to see her that she cried. And so did I.
5. On Meerkat Manor, Youssarian took Mozart's babies out of the burrow to attempt a burrow-move, but since he's crazy, it didn't work out, and one of Mozart's babies was left out to die alone in the desert in Africa. I cried.
6. In the next episode of Meerkat Manor, Flower realized her family was getting too big, and she kicked Mozart out because she had babies. They had a big fight, and none of the other meerkats will groom Mozart, and she has fleas and ticks all over her. And her babies stay with the Whiskers family. I cried again.
7. On Meerkat manor, Courageous little Shakespeare is injured because of a snake bite. And he's not healing well, and then he got into a fight with the Lazuli family.....and he was all hurt and bloody. Poor Shakespeare. I cried still.
8. Why the F am I watching Meerkat Manor, when each half hour episode makes me cry several times? I'm pretty sure that I hate that show.
9. Lloyd Carr was so happy when we beat Notre Dame:). I'm so sad I wasn't able to be there, and more sad that my brother WAS there, at the game, supporting Notre Dame. Traitor. He's not even a catholic, why does he like them?? I cried again thinking about this later.
10. The pool at our gym closes at 3:30 sundays. I didn't know, and I got there too late to swim. You would think that's not something to cry about, but....
11. I was driving home from the grocery store yesterday, and was stopped at an intersection. Suddenly, a bird fell from the sky onto the road. About six people then ran it over. I still can't talk about it.
12. Saturday evening, at church, they played a song called Beautiful Savior, and I think it's like the worst hymn I've ever heard. The name shows potential, but the music sounds all pounded-out with no melody or tune. It made me try and leave church before I started crying.
13. A girl at church was wearing flip flops, and she had DEFORMED TOES. All I could think, was, what did your mom do while she was pregnant that made part of your body deformed? Then I thought about Mr. Pants being teased all his life for some deformity, and it broke my heart. I hope I haven't done anything awful to him unwittingly. I can't wait until he comes out so I can look him over and make sure he's ok.
14. My parents' anniversary was yesterday (30 years! Wow!) and I stopped into Red Lobster to get them a gift card to go in their anniversary card (which is getting to them late, I know). They love Red Lobster though, so, they'll like it. But I saw all the lobsters in the tank, and I felt the tears rise in my throat, and thought "not this again!"
So I think, like my title says, emotional control is for pussies. I think it takes a whole lot more bravery to let yourself wail like a blubbering fool for no reason in a room full of people than it does to hold the tears back and cry on your own time, over only crying-appropriate things. You have to have some serious balls to just cry for nothing, in front of anyone, all the time. Yeah.
posted by ElliottPreciousPants @ 3:10 PM
4 Comments:
i cried in the hr office this week, because i think some select people that i workED with suck a lot. crying in public does take a lot of bravery- it sucks, and can be embarassing. what a bunch of wimps that have to do it in private!
allow me (as i do) to share what i think...
1- i adore you're bro, i know you care about him, but screw him when it comes to your child's genitals. tell him it's circumsized if you want- if he ever changes a diaper and confronts you about it, tell him what a sick-o he is for looking so closely in Pants's pants.
2- it's hard to see people we love have trouble. she's a grown up though, and she'll get through it. reasonable for you to cry, reasonable for her to feel better too.
3- it's hard to see people we love support notre dame.
4- when i was a junior in high school, a million years ago, i was in wendy's with my mom for lunch. some elderly lady shuffled up to me and said, "melissa? melissa b____? is that you?" i was completely confused until my mom said, "Mrs. Pierson!!" my favorite teacher, who i had for kindergarten and first grade... apparently i hadn't changed much. thinking about that makes me teary. she changed my life in a lot of good ways. i loved school and felt smart because of her.
5, 6, 7, and 8- meerkats are cool. the show sounds a little dramatic. odd as it is, i take sick kids seriously, but see it as part of life, where as nature shows sometimes really get to me. they seem supremely tragic. may i recommend more comedy central until a few weeks after BP arrives?
9- it's hard to see people we love support notre dame and lose. but THAT'S absolutely just life. that's what they get for liking anyone but michigan.
10- pool incident stands alone. beware of postpartum depression- it happens, but you can handle it. sounds like stuff was just overwhelming.
11- again, overwhelming. and tragic nature. the bird was already deceased, if that helps. maybe the running over it bit just served to help it contribute to the circle of life faster... (yup- i'm total bs!)
12- almost all church songs make me cry. usually because they are so terrible. i especially hate those commercials for cds of church songs. you know... "i could dream of your love forever..." blaaaghhuhhh (me barfing.)
13- i've seen a lot of deformed kids. severely deformed. one of the first families i was really close with through a pregnancy was supposed to have a kid with pretty minor problems, and when the kid was born there were a TON of things wrong. anyone looking at the kid could see- something wasn't right. i took one look at the baby, and was in love with him, and i exclaimed, "oh, he's SO beautiful!" i reallly meant it, but realized as soon as i said it that maybe i should have said something different to a family whose child obviously looked abnormal (but cute, and sweet- he had a neuropathy where he couldn't feel pain, so he was always happy). They didn't mind at all, and immediately smiled, like people didn't appreciate his beauty, and said, "he's really cute, huh?!!?" point is- BP is completely normal. and people with abnormal toes get lots of love too. second point- 99.9% of stuff that's wrong with kids is not attributable to anything either of the parents did during pregnancy. if anything was wrong, it wouldn't be because you did something wrong.
14- damn tragic nature. i love being vegitarian.
cry all you want. hopefully you can get it out and not linger on crummy feelings, since even though it's an emotional time, this is a super exciting time. in a couple days you'll be a mom!
Thank you, Melissa. I love your counter-list. That's fabulous!
You rock, because even when things aren't going your way, you can still make other people feel better. Thank you:)
And thank you for your agreement that crying in public is a show of MUCH more bravery than being a wuss and crying alone in private. Look how strong we are? Go girls!
Less than a week to go...I can't wait:). I keep dreaming that he's here, and he looks different in all my dreams, and whenever I see his little clothes I think about how in just probably a few days he'll be wearing them.....I'm so excited:).
!!! Thank you for the sweater! I kept meaning to say something about it on here! I received it, and the fireman onesie--SO CUTE! Thank you:) Kevin loves it too! We really appreciate it!
:) I am happy that you got a good laugh:) I actually think my constant crying is sort of funny, too.
Funny because I can't control it, and half the time, i can't figure out why something is causing the tears, because inside, I just don't feel that sad....it's not a controlled response. It's out of my control.
I am excited, too. We can't wait!
Well, as I told you, I totally cry over Meerkat Manor.
I cry when I hear the Star Spangled Banner and really think about what it means.
I cried over BallykissAngel - for days.
I cry when I can't fall asleep and start thinking about Pig and how in all liklihood, I will outlive her.
I am probably the only person in the world who cried at the end of 40 year old Virgin. And I cried the other day at the end of Elf.
And those old cingular commercials where the kid is coming back from college or whatever - I used to have to change the channel.
So...crying is normal. Very normal.
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