Baby Shower Q's
Ladies (and Roberto)-
The baby shower is July 8th, at noon, at China Palace in Midland. (Yes! I get to eat at China Palace! My favorite chinese restaurant!! Yes! Oh how I miss you CP, with your delicious crispy sesame chicken and your beef and pork egg rolls...all for $4.75 at lunchtime.)
So what's the deal with this. If I am having a baby, what do I seriously need? I know the obvious ones, like crib, stroller, car seat, etc. But besides those glaring big things, what do I need?
And who should I invite? My mom wants me to register and make a list of friends I want to invite--she's got family. Who wants to call me and discuss my guest list? Is it OK to invite out of town friends, even though you know they won't be able to come, but just because you are so excited that you are having a baby and want to send them an invitation just to say, "Look! I'm really having a baby! Here's a shower invitation for proof!" and they have been buddies with you throughout the pregnancy, like Melissa? Or Kari, who will be in the Czech Republic during the shower (kari--is that the right place?). I don't know.
And can I seriously not invite Ron? Or Roberto? Or Andy (well, Andy's tucked away in Switzerland, as most of you know, poor Andy all the way over in Switzerland when he could be here watching me unwrap baby clothes and eating wonderful chinese food...). If it's friends, well, some of those friends don't have vaginas, but I love them still. I went through that with the wedding shower--only women. But the wedding had my male friends at it too, and it was a freakin' blast, so, why no men at the shower?
posted by ElliottPreciousPants @ 11:03 AM
11 Comments:
My girlfriend had a baby shower and she had her guy friends over and it turned out ok. I think I would probably have my close guy friends over too - afterall, they are my "friends" first and "guys" second. Although I can see how that would be an issue for some who are more traditional. But in the end, it's your shower, so it's your call :)
a) your shower, you get to do whatever you want.
b) your shower, invite anyone you want. if the boys can stand the girliness of the shower, have them by. if not, they can send gifts. which brings me to the next point. you should absolutely send invites to people who can't go- then they have to mail presents to you. it's really the best way to go- you get gifts, and you don't have to entertain people.
as for what you need, you definitely need a bouncy chair and a swing (if you have the desire to remain sane), stuff for more than just the 0-1 month phase (ie, bigger clothes too), spa lotions and gift certificates and stuff for you, post delivery, one of those snuggly carriers, cute diaper bags (in multiple colors), baby toys + baby gym thing, videos (if bp gets to watch tube, cds or music no... or in addition to...), many barf blankets/towels, cute baby dishes, crib sheet set things, breast pump, rocking chair for you, winter stuff- big snowsuit onesie, hats, contributions to the college fund... think also about how you want to diaper the child- you need packs of disposable or gift certs for cloth diaper service. you need one of those lap pillows that is like a semi circle that wraps at your waist to help hold and feed bp, at least two strollers (one big walky one to carry stuff in the bottom, and one really lightweight umbrella foldy one) and desitin, lots of desitin. you might have some of that stuff already- that's why you register at target and gymboree and bedbathandbeyond and cute expensive places. not that i've ever considered this kind of thing.
and a high chair, and a bath tub (plastic tubbie for the sink for when little), gift certs for like shutterfly for photo processing, toy box, dresser, books, music box for the baby's room, baby monitor, small silverware, small chair and table, binkies if you'll use them, blender or food processor if you want to make some of the food yourself, decorations for the room, cute rug or whatever else you need, little suitcase for trips to MI and NYC. i'll think of more.
Yeah.
I'm just going to print this out, and take it with me when I register.
So, Melissa, you've never thought of this before, huh?:)
Well girlfriend, keep it coming. It seems though like it sucks to send people an invitation when you know they can't come, because then it might seem like you are just asking for a gift.
I don't know if I even need all that stuff you are mentioning, because my brother and his wife (and the guy from work) are giving me a bunch of stuff, I just have to find out what they are giving me. The guy from work told me yesterday that he's putting a list together of everything I can have of his, and I just need to talk to my brother and his wife.
Your registry list is much better than ours. So far, our list has bottles on it, and nipples. For when I pump the milk and let Kevin feed the baby (I decided I might let him feed it once and a while maybe). But then our list stopped, because he suggested that we need to get nipples for the bottles that are most like my nipples, so that the baby doesn't get confused between the bottle and my nipples, and will take both. I never thought of that, and I've never heard that. So then we talked about whether or not he was making that up, just to see if I would show my nipples at Babies R us for comparison purposes. He said he wasn't. But we got stopped there, because well, that's weird.
1) crib (check the bottom of the crib to see the support. Some of them only have a cardboard bottom which is okay as an infant, but they will eventually be standing on it - prefer the mattress spring bottoms or at least wooden slats or the like 2) playpen (optional, but good depending on the size of your place - get the one with the full-size bassinette feature which is great for putting them into up to 15 lbs or if you want to keep it in your room early on, or just in another part of the house to keep the baby - also good crib sub for travel, 3) bedding. crib sheets - i say at LEAST 3, but perhaps 4 b/c those kids pee/poop out ALL THE TIME esp early on when they change diaper sizes 4) good solid dresser or chest for clothes; changing table is optional, but we have a dresser with a changing table top so it's both pieces in one, 5) bumper is optional - some people think their kids limbs get caught in them, others don't. my son needed one to keep his limbs from between the bars. one option is the crib mesh bumper/shield that wraps, 6) a few baby blankets of varying weights since you'll be in the fall season, 7) clothes: good side-snap shirts at the beginning are easiest, otherwise onesies and sleepers are the staple (they will change clothes often enough!); when you see the size range on the clothing like 0-3 mo, think of it more like 0 rather than 3 mo unless your kid is on the small side. Get a bunch in the first couple sizes at least (0-3, 3-6). 8) diaper cloths (for burp clothes) - you will need a LOT of these. get like 2 packs of 12 (these generic ones are usually what people use when they are actually cloth diapering) 9) I might have a couple of pacifiers handy in case you really need it, but I would avoid using them as much as possible and just encourage the baby to breastfeed (since you mentioned that's the plan) whenever he/she indicates a need to suck. You don't want to soothe their sucking impulse with a paci at the beginning, 10) bottles (depending on your lifestyle, you can get ones w/disposable liners or the reusables). if they have varying nipple holes (usually more holes for more milk as they get older), there is NO NEED to get the nipples past the newborn/1st stage especially if you are breastfeeding. Bottlefeeding already requires less sucking action than at the breast and some babies will end up preferring the bottle b/c it's easier. IF it's doable, you may want to avoid the bottle the first 3 weeks or so when you are trying to establish the breastfeeding, 10) bottle warmer if you do use bottles. Microwaves create hotspots and can destroy some of the nutrients in the food. Many bottle warmers have cooling chambers so you can keep the bottle there instead of trapsing down to the kitchen and getting it out of the fridge. You often just need to measure out the water container ahead of time so you don't have to deal with it at 2am. 11) car seat and stroller. YOu have the option of buying these together or separately. Just consider the lifestyle you have and what will best fit it. Regardless of choice, be sure to test them out (esp the stroller) in person so you can get a feel for what you like, how easy it is to fold, and how heavy it is! Also whether it will fit in your car. A "mall cruiser" will have a lot of perks, but weighs almost 30 lbs and is a pain to lug in/out of the trunk. I noticed some of the ones that were a little pricier take infant car seats and are also incredibly light (wish I had gotten one of those!). We have a fairly light one, but not as light as some of the higher end ones I've seen. For car seats you have a choice between infant car seats and convertibles. Infant car seats are the ones usually with bases that stay in the car. You can move the baby and in out with the carrier which is great b/c they sleep a lot in the beginning, but infants outgrow them quickly since the upper limit is 20-22 pounds (my son was a big boy so he outgrew it at a little past 4 mos). However, they really are the best as far as really fitting the infants and cradling them. And you can find ones that work with the stroller you pick so that you can snap the car seat into it as well. The convertibles go from 20-40 lbs or even newborn to 40 lbs, or more. However, they are much bigger. We have a pricier one, but it's one of the safest models and goes up to 65 lbs. They stay in the vehicle and you would move the child in and out. 12) diapers, wipes (obviously). baby wash (usually used as a body/hair shampoo), lotion, diaper cream, bathtub, towels, fingernail clippers (they have ones with magnifiers on them if you need it), comb (depending on hair). I wouldn't buy a ton of that stuff. My son's skin is sensitive so we went through a couple of different brands and types of lotion to find what worked for him. You don't necessarily need separate towels, but if you get the ones with hoods they are great for keeping their head warm and scooping them up after a bath. just make sure to check it out. i bought a couple of extra ones really cheap and they were so thin. Now I buy the pricier ones that I found are a lot thicker. As far the bath, you want something they can grow into. Many of them come with little hammocks so you can put the baby in it early on when she/he is not sitting up or just getting a sponge bath. We actually got a cheap hammock one (separate) early on, and then bought a big tub he could use for awhile (again, depends on your space). 13) changing pad (if you have a changing table), mattress pad (a couple at least, mattress. I personally recommend a high-quality foam mattress. A good quality one is comparable to coil and is a lot lighter (7lbs vs 20-30 lbs) which is convenient for the middle of the night changes. Colgate Classica I is highly rated by consumer reports. 14) high chair, bibs (but you won't need this until at least 6 mos). We got one, but we don't have much space so we use it at my mom's and now have a booster that attaches to our dining chairs. Will probably do the same for this one unless we decide to move back the high chair. Whatever you get, get one that's comfortable and easy to clean. 15) bumbo (optional), allows a baby to sit up before they can sit up on their own. My son loved this b/c he liked to look at everything. 16) baby carrier (optional, but useful). I liked the new native carrier when son was little - worked like a sling but didn't have the rings you had to constantly adjust. Later got a sutemi b/c you could carry in front, side, or back (after 15 lbs) and it's ergonomically designed and doesn't place their weight on their spine like other front carriers. 17) breast pump (we've already discussed this. 18) diaper bag (you'll need a bigger one at first); if you are the only one carrying it get what you like. If your hubby may carry it for any length of time, you may want to get something that you can both agree on. Some ppl prefer messenger bags, some like back packs, others like totes.
Now, as far as getting additional input or specific recommendations, I can tell you what worked and why for us (since everyone has different needs). Also recommend you pick up a copy of Baby Bargains (6th edition) (see if your library has a copy) for additional recommendations. Consumer Reports also has recommendations in their magazine for car seat ratings and mattresses and you can search online. You could also check your library for back issues. The other option is to do a subscription online so you can check their back issues (either on a month-to-month or annual basis).
As far as your shower, I've been to both couple showers and girls-only showers. You can invite the guys if you want to make it a couple shower, but I gotta tell you, as much as my hubby was into the baby, he was BORED with our friend's shower.
Yes, definitely send invites to anyone you would want to come, even if you know their plans ahead of time. You never know, and I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
some people might get plane tix, and it is never rude to send an invite. it's sort of a hint for people to gift, but if they don't want to, it's no big deal. i had a cousin that was really offended that i didn't go to her wedding and her baby shower- she had the baby before she got married, and i lived 700 miles away. i sent a gift... what the.... and as for the wedding, they got married in vegas, and had a reception like thing in MI with a tent in her dad's backyard. i'm NOT flying 700 miles for meatballs and my irritating family. again, i sent a gift... i think if people get offended over things like that, they are petty, and we shouldn't care. for the rest of us, party, send gifts, have fun, and welcome babypants!!! (my cousin got over it, by the way, though she is still mad that my bro missed the "reception;" he lives like 20 miles from them...)
You guys are a wealth of information. Chunky monkey--I'm printing yours too!
And now that you mention the boredom factor for the guys, you have a point. I would love for them to be there, but, they would probably be horrifically bored.
I will send invites then to even people I know can't make it.
Melissa, I can't believe your cousin was all mad about you not making her events. 700 miles is a long way, and it's not like you didn't acknowledge--you sent a gift. Whenevr I receive an invite from a cousin or something back home, I always send a gift, and assume it's a courtesy invitation, and that they know I live 700 miles from home and won't come. Now there was one time, that a family friend had a shower and didn't invite me, and it so happened I was going to be home. My mom mentioned that I was going to be home that weekend--and they did invite me, saying that the only reason they hadn't invited me is because I lived so far away, and they didn't want to make me feel obligated to buy a gift when they knew I couldn't attend. But I did attend, and it was fun.
I have to admit, the registering thing feels really overwhelming.
I already know though, that I want a vera bradley diaper bag. Hopefully the one with the bees. I know it's retired, but I still want one.
Kevin will carry anything. I still don't want to get something too girly because he will be carrying it sometimes, but since he's carried my vera bradley bee-print luggage tote everytime we travel, all around airports, well, he will be fine with a diaper bag.
(Melissa, remember when he carried my flowered bunny bag with all our wedding pictures all over NYC that time we came to see you? Yeah. Kevin rocks like that.)
um, i have a tote of bees vera bradley.... i love it. let kev get his own- they make really masculine ones. although, he was a sport about the bunny bag thing. very secure in his masculinity.
http://www.uncommongoods.com/item/item.jsp?catId=3&itemId=13099&_requestid=3902&engine=adwords!4397&keyword=%28men+diaper+bag%29&match_type=&gclid=CK2hlrST3YQCFQ91HgodlCxP_w
http://www.dadgear.com/
http://www.gifts.com/search/product/Diaper-Dude-Mens-Diaper-Bag-Camoflauge?ideaID=1628&prodID=52235
Maybe his fave: a football diaper bag: http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/baby-diaper-bags-2.htm
http://www.bellablumaternity.com/index.php?cPath=90_62&osCsid=a3f31113a966e443d1fc63ce45a7dc5a
you get the idea. and definitely register in those places where you get a scanner and go around to just zap the stuff you want. or post a list on amazon.com. very easy.
someone else made a list also:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/subst/stores/baby/parent-checklist.html/104-1765040-6125565
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