Phewww!
I talked to my nurse midwife to see if I may have killed the baby when I was working out a few weeks ago and accidentally let my heart rate get too high, she told me no, and then I told her that I thought I might have killed it because I couldn't think of a reason that I didn't kill it.
Seems like anything and everything could kill it.
Of course, this was before chunky monkey's reassuring comment earlier. It was too late. I had already been crazy to the nurse midwife at the birth center.
So she said, why don't you just stop in and we'll listen to the heartbeat. You'll feel better then.
Awww. What a sweet offer. And if I wasn't crazy, I would have just thanked her and said I would just see her monday when my appointment is.
But since I AM crazy, I said that would be awesome, I will be there this afternoon.
So I went, and the found the heartbeat right away, and it was 156 beats per minute, and it was very loud and strong. And easy to find.
And I would be resting so easy now, if I hadn't sat in the midwife's office and sobbed about how relieved I was that the baby wasn't dead.
Kevin would be so disappointed if I accidentally killed our baby. And so would I, but, I would at least deserve the disappointment because I was the dumbass who screwed up and caused something to go horribly wrong with the baby. He would just be the dumbass who procreated with me.
The midwife must think I am insane. And she offered for me to sign up for some early pregnancy classes. And she told me I could come back every single day to listen to the heartbeat if I wanted to, if it would ease my fears. There's no possible way that she will think I am not insane. Maybe she's figuring that she will have to call child protective services to take the baby when it's born because I'm so crazy.
You don't think she would do that, do you??
Isn't that nice that she offered everyday heartbeat monitoring? Midwives rule.
And she guessed that it's a girl. She said with a heartbeat of 156, there's an 85% chance that it's a girl.
I love these fun guessing games!
posted by ElliottPreciousPants @ 3:44 PM
6 Comments:
Yay! A girl! At least 85% chance ... not that a boy wouldn't be exciting. But a baby girl ... I'm so happy for you and no, I don't think you're insane, I can imagine myself being the same way. :)
it's AWESOME that you have a good midwife. there is no reason to go everyday, but if you wanted to, it's nice to know you could. she's likely offering knowing you won't, since most people worry a lot, then feel better.
Also, try not to be so tough on yourself!!! if, god forbid, something was wrong with the baby, it wouldn't be because of your heart rate, it would be because there was some problem you couldn't control. That's true more than 99% of the time. pregnant women do the best they can, and fetuses do the best they can, and a bunch of them manage to get born- it's pretty amazing to know how many things can go wrong, but ultimately DON'T for the vast majority of people. babypants sounds vigorous and healthy- go listen everyday until you believe it!
I haven't gone everyday:). I only went the once.
But my next appointment is monday, so, I am keeping that in mind. Hearing the heartbeat really helped a lot.
I don't think MW thinks you're crazy, just pregnant :). Some people think pregnant women lose it and go all irrational.
In some ways it certainly seems that way, but I think it makes sense that you want to be sure your baby is as safe as possible. It just seems easier when they're born b/c they're in front of you whereas right now you can't see them right in front of you to reassure you "kid's okay/breathing - all's good".
I think it's neat when those "old wives tales" work for people when finding out what gender the baby is, but mine always seem to defy them. At least they did with my son. Don't know yet about this one ( get my u/s tomorrow).
I don't think the MW would make an offer she wasn't willing to follow through on. The OB nurses said that if we had ANY questions to call and mentioned that some people call every day. I stopped her and asked for clarification, figuring she was exaggerating, and she said "Yep. EVERY DAY." Man. Makes you realize your normal, natural fears and concerns are okay :).
Yeah, you've good a level head on you Elliot - I don't think you're crazy at all - sounds really normal. I would totally be like (actually way worse) if I were preggers.
Thanks you guys:) I really appreciate it:) It's nice to know your friends don't think you are crazy. Even nicer still (but admittedly, a little funny) to hear them use words like level headed when describing you. Especially since I feel the opposite of level headed right now.
Thanks:)
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