Makin' the preggers lady sad...

But you still all need to hear it, because I need to share it.

Bob from work is a PhD chemist, so he's like all PhD chemists you know--socially kinda funny, but usually very sweet and nice. Bob has a 5 year old daughter that he hasn't seen in 4 and a half years. Bob had a wife, and she was from Mexico, and one day, she took their daughter, and moved back to Mexico, and won't tell Bob where she is because she doesn't want to come back, and doesn't want to share her daughter. Bob has spent a fortune trying to get his daughter back, but, has been unable to. It's really sad, because he talks about her frequently, but hasn't seen her for year. His ex wife sometimes sends pictures.

Bob has been very interested in my pregnancy. He's very excited for me, as are most people around here (no one has been pregnant around here in several years). One day a couple of weeks ago, Bob stopped me in the hallway, and he said "Hey, are you going to breastfeed?"

(When you think, hmm, that seems sort of inappropriate to ask, please keep in mind that I already told you, PhD chemist).

I told him I was, and then he told me that he had a state of the art breast pump that was his ex wife's, that she barely used, cost him a fortune, and was in very excellent condition, etc. Then he said I could have it.

Now, never having had a kid, and honestly not having qualms about taking free used stuff if it's nice and in nice shape, but still, it's a breast pump of a lady's I never knew, I wasn't sure. Is that wrong? Is that nasty? Can they be cleaned and sterilized? I don't know. Plus, my sister in law offered me all of her baby stuff, and she had a breast pump. Doesn't seem as weird coming from a sister in law as the ex wife from a guy at work. So I told him no, that I was getting my sister in law's, and thanks.

He said no problem, and to let him know if I changed my mind.

My mom is here visiting now, and I told her about the nice offer, and asked her if it's weird. And she said hell no it's not weird, and they can be sterilized, and they are damn expensive. As a matter of fact, several people rent them, so to have one of your own, it's fantastic and I should take it. I reminded her that my sister in law said I could have all her baby stuff, and she told me that SIL rented her breast pump. Oh. I did no know that.

So I came in to work today, asked Bob if the state of the art breast pump offer was still on the table, and he said yes, he will bring it in for me.

I was like awesome. He was like, is there anything else you need for the baby? I was like well, since I've never had a baby before, I don't have anything. He said "I have everything. I have strollers, high chairs--I even have a crib. It's all in my attic. Do you need any of that stuff?"

I said well of course, I could use some of those things, and I would love to see his crib, but is he sure he wants to give all this stuff away, and can I at least offer to pay him something for all this stuff?

He told me no, he doesn't want any money. He told me that he misses his daughter everyday, and that he kept all of these things hoping he would have her again some day, and when he recently moved and was moving all of this baby furniture, he realized that even if he got her back, she was way too old to use all of this stuff. But he moved it anyway. He told me that it's a constant heartache to have all that baby stuff, and it would mean much more to him than money if I would just take it all away. He told me that giving me his baby stuff would be a favor to him.

I said well, I'm really sorry about what happened to you, and I appreciate anything you give me very much. He told me that he appreciated giving what he could to me, because he would rather give it to someone he knows than just to donate it all or sell it to strangers. Or to hang on to it longer. So he's making a trip up to his attic, to make a list of all the baby things he has from his daughter, and then he will show me the list and I can have whatever I want.

SO nice of him.

So sad. I'm torn, because I feel guilt at taking all this stuff for free, but it's weird because he just seems desperate to give it to me. I think I will get him a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble or something when I thank him.

We'll see how this turns out. I have just felt sorry for this guy since I knew his story.....

He told me that he doesn't pay any child support, because evidently since his wife won't tell him where she's living and he is allowed no contact with his child, the court says he doesn't have to. But he is putting away like $2000 a month into a bank account for her to use for college, and his ex wife sent him a picture a few years ago, and he carries it around in his wallet all the time.

Isn't that sad? He's a really nice guy, I hope things work out for him.