You learn something new every day....
A little background- my husband made it known to me early on in our relationship that he was no cook. Questions like "What do they mean when they say to brown the hamburger?" and "It says one cup--how do I know which size cup?" caused me to take a step back and freak out. You've got to be kidding me, right? No. Sadly no. So for a while I just started taking over the cooking--after I ate a lot of crap trying to get him to learn to cook a little. So recently we have decided that we are going to try and share the responsibilities more. I explained to him that he would need to know how to cook when we have children, because if I am not around, they will need to eat. He will need to learn to chop and cook vegetables (his poorest area, unbelievably) and scramble eggs (no, he didn't know how to do that either). So we sat down, we discussed it, and made a list of things be believes he can cook. I figure we can start there, he can build up his confidence, and then move on to things like eggs and bacon (he can make toast).
His list included:
1.meat on the grill (provided I am there to tell him when it's done, but actually he's been able to do that as well as of late)
2. Chicken helper
3. Hamburger helper
4. Boxed macaroni and cheese
5. Instant mashed potatoes
6. Canned soup
7. Hot pockets
8. Pizza Rolls
9. Frozen chicken tenders
Whew. OK. Some people wouldn't even call this cooking. So we tried a few of these things, and he's better at some than others. Like, he's really good at making canned soup. He's really good at hot pockets and pizza rolls in the microwave, not as good at them in the oven. The grill--it was a tough go at first, but now it's all right.
May I interject---the thing most tough about this, is that these are not typically the kinds of foods I eat. I enjoy pizza rolls, because well they're small and deep fried and filled with pizza stuff, but, I would never consider this fare for a meal--only really fare for a late night snack after you've been out getting drunk. I haven't eaten pizza rolls since college. I haven't eaten hamburger helper since I was a little kid--and have only eaten chicken helper a few times when in a real hurry. Mashed potatoes? Blah. I could barf thinking about them. I never even gave him the chance to show me his instant mashed potato skills--I don't even want them in the house.
So that leaves us with mac and cheese, and the helpers. I like mac and cheese, I have avoided it for years because of the calories and fat, but well, he can make it. He can actually make it. Which I am awfully suspicious of considering he struggled with the information about measuring cups.....the chicken helper he is all right at, but for a while he struggled with whether or not the chicken was 'done' enough.....but now he can do that on his own.
Which leads us to last night's dinner--crunchy taco hamburger helper. A flavor I have never tasted, but my dad actually raves about. Kevin was going to make it, and I was going to eat it when I came home from work, and then it was off to the gym. I took a look at the package, saw that it has like 1 gram of fiber per serving, and told Kevin to add some black beans or kidney beans to it or something to help it out. So I came home, it was ready, I ate it, it was fine. It tasted fine. It wasn't GREAT, but is hamburger helper ever really great?? I don't think so. I think it was his best attempt at cooking so far. So of course--I praised him, and told him what a great job he did on dinner and without my help and how good it was etc etc etc.
THEN, he said to me "Well, I used to cook dinner for my family all the time when I was in the 7th grade. My parents and brothers were at work, so it was my job to make dinner, and Hamburger Helper was my specialty."
Is there anyone out there who knows why this little tidbit of info did NOT make me happy?
Anyone?
Ok. Well, if he used to make Hamburger Helper all the time, and cook for them every evening for dinner, then why was there all the confusion over meat that is cooked all the way, and measuring cups and spoons??? Why did he not know what a colander was?
I think I have been fibbed to. A feeble attempt made by Kevin at not having to cook. Well, the gravy train stops here buster.
Ok, one more disturbing thing. So I took my scoop of hamburger helper, maybe a cup of it or so. Then I had another smaller scoop--maybe 1/4 cup. And I know measuring cups. But Kevin ate the rest. Which is fine, I don't care how much he eats--but I said "Well, when you made hamburger helper, with a family of 6, 3 of those 6 being teenage boys 2 of whom worked on a farm, did you have to double it up or something?" And he looked at me like there was something wrong with me and was like "No. Why would we do that?" Hmm. None of them are small people either. That doesn't make sense. No wonder Kevin was so underweight when I met him.
posted by ElliottPreciousPants @ 9:00 AM
8 Comments:
sounds like we need to run cooking camp for our boys. mine can't make mac and cheese- by a long shot. He baked me a frozen pizza once after a long day at the hospital, and i ended up having to help. I got the organic equivalent of easy mac (the microwave kind), and he can't do it. I thought it was a ruse also. His mother died when he was 4 or 5, and I said to him, your dad must have cooked then! He said no way- his grandma came to live with them until she died, and then his dad got married again. BLAH!
I'm proud of my self for teaching him so far to scramble eggs (he tried this without me there the first time, figuring he had seen it done. Almost blew up the house. Apparently gas stove is not in the list of things people just "know" how to work), soup in a can, scalloped potatoes (from the real potatoes, where you peel them and everything),frozen pierogis, frozen pizza, and pasta- no sauce, just dry pasta.
Another idea though- annie's and fantastic foods and this other organic something... they make good "helpers." We use fake meat, since i don't keep meat in the house, but you can use real if you like it. They are easy and wicked good for you- a little more expensive, but not bad. Annie's makes p'sketi o's too, with soy meatballs- just warm those up. Pretty good.
haha, isn't it funny the mistakes they make? So yours almost blew up the stove? Mine left an iron on for 2 days in the other room before I noticed it (he has never ironed before either, and is just reaching the point where I have been letting him iron something and then bring it to me to show me how it looks and tell him if it's good enough for him to wear). After I told him to go ahead and wear that--it was wrinkle free enough--I never thought that he wouldn't go turn the iron off. He told me he thought it turned off by itself. I didn't like that.
It's really tough though, isn't it? I mean sometimes you come home and you are tired and they might have the day off, and then to be nice they are like "I'll make dinner" so they make something easy--like a frozen pizza, and the entire time they are calling you from the kitchen--"hon? It says to unwrap the pizza, does that mean the cardboard on the bottom too?" "Hon, it says to cook it for 9 minutes for a soft crust and 12 minutes for a crisp crust, which one do you think I should do?" "Hon--how can you tell when the oven is hot enough? Can you come look and see if you think it's hot enough?" "Hon--do we have a pizza cutter? I can't find it, which drawer is it in? (a few minutes later) I can't find it can you come look because I don't know where it is".
That was an actual situation in our house. Don't you just want to be all like "Forget it! I'll just do it myself!" But sometimes, I think they are hoping you WILL do that.....and not to mention, it won't help them learn.
It sounds like your boy is doing well though if he can make all that (scalloped potatoes! That's impressive.). It sounds like you are doing a good job teaching him.
Then you have people like Max and Sareet, where she comes home to find that Max has taken out the trash and made crabcakes......
I'm proud of you for all that you've taught him as well.
We should definitely get together next time I am in NYC. It's only about 2 hrs. away from us, next time we are heading that way I will let you know.
The other great thing about my boy is that he takes care of our apt really well. He doesn't know how to cook, and bathroom cleaning doesn't come naturally (to me either, but we're working on it), but he sweeps, feeds the bunny, takes out the trash, and does ALL the dishes- like won't let me touch a dirty dish. So that part is nice... If your man can't cook, just reassign him, like in the army.
my favorite was when he tried to make a veggie burger. He doesn't like the microwave, so he decided to make it in a frying pan. From the kitchen I hear, "hey sweetie? Is an olive a vegetable?"
The directions say to put some veg oil in the pan, and he wasn't sure if olive would work, since it might be a fruit.
Hmm. Why doesn't he like the microwave?
Kevin would cook everything in the microwave if possible.
In fact, when we moved out here, his range had been used only a few times--approximately 3 times for his oven, and his stovetop maybe 10. And his oven was ONLY used by me.
He thinks it doesn't really "cook." He's afraid of radiation. He doesn't think it warms evenly (like his cooking does- on the stove, oven, OR microwave!).
Oh my god. This whole convo is too too funny.
Actually, as Elliot noted, it's way opposite with me and Max. I'm the bad cook (firmly established by some unfortunate mishaps pertaining to nasty salmon, dried out pork chops, burnt sausages, blackened rolls, on-fire oven mitts - twice. This is just a sample list - the actual list goes on and on). Max is a very good cook and he usually makes all the meals. Sometimes, if I don't feel like doing the dishes (he cooks, i do the dishes) I'll suggest that I cook - which makes him very very nervous. So much so that he'll keep popping his head in the kitchen, until I yell at him and tell him to go away and that I know what to do.
Then I get confused - like yeah, are you supposed to unwrap the cardboard off the pizza? That is a very legitimate question. And I really can't find the pizza cutter - I know it's in that one drawer, but that drawer has so much stuff, I can't find it...
You have your worked cut out for you. I learned to cook myself and if I get into trouble I just call some one to help me out. In time he will be able to cook. I love to cook desserts, like cheese cakes, chocolate cake and the best thing I make is sticky buns.
There is a good cook book out there for guys. It is called "A man a can and a grill." Its pretty simple. I have not tried anything in it yet since I purchased it in the winter and cooking outside was not a option. I will scan some recipies and send them to you.
Have fun and be gentile with him.
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