F-ing scary, that's what that is!

So, Saturday night, Kevin and I were channel surfing (because we are old and married now, and that's what old and married people do on Saturday nights--ok ok, actually I was studying because I have a test) and we happened upon a TV show on E! called the 100 scariest movies. We saw the last 50.

I haven't slept well in days now, mind you. How terrifying! And they were just clips! Now growing up, I enjoyed my share of horror movies--for some unknown reason. I can't seem to remember why. But I did. When I was much younger (9-12 years) I used to BEG my dad to rent scary movies for me. One night, he came home with The Hills Have Eyes. I slept on my parents' bedroom floor for at least a week.

Then about a year ago, Kevin really really wanted to rent the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The new one. Well, I lost a few days of sleep there too, and I left the room for the scary gruesome parts.

I thought that the 100 scariest movies countdown would be okay, I really did. I was half studying, half watching, but some of those clips--I just can't get them out of my head, and they are terrifying me to no end--still. Let me tell you the ones that I can't make go away.

There are three that were especially horrifying. One was called The Wicker Man. It was about a cult of people on some island off of Scottland, that were reportedly going to do some human sacrifice, and some girl was missing. A cop goes there to find the girl, and we find out that there was never a missing girl, it was all a ruse to get this cop there, because he's in fact the sacrifice. So they build this huge man of wood (ie a wicker man) and put the cop in a cage in the man's chest, set it on fire, and then they all dance and sing around the burning thing while the guys burns up there to death, while he's shouting to God for help. Creepy.

OK, it gets even more creep, with one called The Last House on the Left. A group of bad guys rape and kill some girls. The clip they showed was a group of people holding a girl up in the woods while someone stabbed her so severely she was basically disembowelled. Ugh.

The the creepiest one that I can't make the images go away from, was one called The Audition. Ok, what I could gather was, guy is auditioning girls, hot girl comes to audition, somehow he ends up dating her and mutilated but alive in a sack on her floor, where she takes him out and brutally tortures him with big needles in his eyes and all over his body and stuff. Jesus. That was ranked #3.

Incidentally, Jaws was #1. I've never seen that.

But holy crap. These look like scary movies that I never want to see. Ever. I'm sorry I watched the clip show. Things like Nightmare on Elm street and stuff--those don't really scare me, because they are FAKE. Kevin keeps saying "They're just movies". But they COULD HAPPEN. Which makes them REALLY SCARY. People are sick. And these things COULD HAPPEN. I mean, someone thought of it--they made a movie about it, right?? How do I make this go away?
I'm tired.